There’s The Door

by Alisa Peskin-Shepherd | Dec 18, 2017 | Collaborative Divorce

Don’t you hate it when someone overstays their welcome?

It can happen with clients. I’ve seen it before, and I’m sure it will happen again.

Sometimes, people don’t want the process to end. They like being in limbo, stuck in the middle ground, neither happy nor unhappy, married nor divorced. Just stuck.

I can’t work with that. When a client brings a case to me, it is my job to help him find the best outcome for their situation and work toward resolution and a new start.

When a client has a difficult divorce, unfortunately it can take longer than usual. What begins as an excellent working relationship can rapidly unfold if it goes on for too long – for so many reasons.

But when my client is the reason, then I haven’t done my job.

My job is to understand my client’s goals and what is most important to her. And then, once I understand this, it’s my job to guide her on the journey to achieve those outcomes.

When a client does not follow my recommendations, when she just wants to hold on to the misery and the disappointment and the unreality of someone leaving her, we get stuck. The solutions don’t happen. The goals are not achieved.

She stays too long.

Recently, a client of mine posted on Facebook about a bike ride he did all the way up to Mackinac Island. He declared that it was a great achievement of his newly single life, and he seemed exhilarated and better for having done it.

That smile on his face was evidence of a job well done. Of being efficient and effective. Of hearing and listening and leading to outcomes that bring new starts, new life, a second chance at happiness.

That’s the kind of outcome I strive for.