Photo by Merrilee Schultz on Unsplash
When people get divorced, one of the biggest emotions they experience is a lack of control—either because their partner initiates the breakup, or because the legal part of uncoupling is in the hands of professionals and going at their pace based on the court-specific timeline.
Years ago, when I started practicing Collaborative Divorce in addition to what was then a mostly litigative practice, I did so because I saw so many benefits to my clients. Taking control of their divorce and deciding its timeline was one big part of that.
Now that Transitions Legal has become fully a Center for Collaborative Divorce and Mediation and eliminated litigation as an offering, every single divorce case that we take on is in the hands of the people divorcing.
That’s pretty amazing, when I think about it.
Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, family law attorney
My job as a family law attorney is to shepherd people through a pretty tough time in their lives. Even when you’re the one initiating a divorce, there is still a period of mourning, a letting go of what you had hoped would be forever, a transition from one way of life to another unexpected and uncharted one.
Most people feel anxiety and overwhelm when things are beyond their control. That’s natural. Whether it’s keeping the house clean or getting all your work done or waiting for a reply from someone else on something that matters to you, whenever important tasks are in someone else’s hands, we can’t help but feel uncomfortable.
Now, I am delighted to be able to give my clients the control they need and want.
Of course, because of the nature of divorce itself, each individual spouse doesn’t have total control. Divorce involves two people and their shared assets and family members. There are a lot of moving parts, so it is never completely in one person’s control.
The brilliant part of Collaborative Divorce and Mediation is the way it gives divorcing spouses some measure of control over how the divorce process goes, what they end up with after the divorce is final, and when and how all of this takes place.
Both processes put the divorcing spouses in the driver’s seat. Yes, there are details to negotiate and compromises to make. But these are still the clients’ choices to make. Just like how fast it goes and the values that guide the process — all under their control.
Not the courts.
Not court-based professionals who have no vested interest in the outcome of the case.
Not a judge sitting in their courtroom who doesn’t know either of you or your kids.
The control is yours. And that’s the way I’d like to keep it.