Effective this month, my law firm is now known as Transitions Legal: Collaborative Divorce & Mediation Center. 

It’s a small change from the previous—law offices of Alisa Peskin-Shepherd—but meaningful. This year, I’ve taken the leap to let go of litigation—a restrictive and limiting process.

I prefer to support divorcing clients through Collaborative Divorce and Mediation paths, where possibilities abound.

This is not a decision I made quickly or took lightly. It’s taken months (years, really) for me to feel confident doing so because litigation is what everyone knows, and let’s be honest, litigation is a guaranteed income stream, so it’s hard for many lawyers to let it go.

But when January hit, and all my December invoices were sent, I felt like I was on the right path. 

The way I practice family law has changed over time but also, the times have changed. Throughout it all, my values have remained steadfast.

When I created Transitions Legal, I proudly took what I called a “mediative” approach to litigation, wearing my Mediator hat even when litigating to more compassionately resolve divorces and other family law issues for my clients.

Family Law Has Changed Over Time

Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, at the beginning of Transitions Legal

When I first started in family law, Michigan had just formed the family court division—specific judges who handle all of the divorce and other family-related cases, and ONLY these types of cases.

Family court judges become specialized in the complicated issues that arise around the emotional, financial and legal issues facing families. Their work is driven by the motto: “one judge, one family,” which means a judge is assigned to that family, along with their Friend of the Court staff, for as long as the family is in the system.

Previously, any circuit court judge without the specialized knowledge, understanding and patience required for family law could be called on to handle family law cases.

Can you imagine?

Another change in my years of practicing has been a movement away from the default position of mothers getting custody of the children, child support and alimony to the expectation  that mothers will work, even if they’ve been at home raising kids during the marriage.  

This change troubles me. Every family situation is different, so creating a cookie-cutter expectation is unfair. 

That’s one big reason motivating my move away from litigation—it’s limiting, it imposes uninformed societal trends, without considering what is best for a particular family!

Keeping Divorce Out of Court 

Keeping divorce out of court helps families determine their best path for moving forward. 

Another industry change has been a significant evolution in parenting time. When I started practicing family law, fathers got “visitation.” Then, maybe they got alternate  weekends with their kids or a weeknight dinner.

Now, the court starts with a default of 50/50 parenting time split equally between both parents, and demands that attorneys make a case for anything different.

This isn’t law (though some would like it to be). It’s a societal ideal that does not fit every family.

(Read about what 50:50 parenting time really means here.) 

Like everything with divorce, parenting time should be designed specifically for that family. Just like you can’t expect stay-at-home mom to go back to work and start earning an income that is sufficient to support herself and her children, you can’t expect a dad to all-of-a-sudden know how to manage their children’s morning routines, make lunches, and get them out the door for school on time if they haven’t had to do it before.

Alisa Peskin-Shepherd’s Evolution as a Family Law Attorney

As the industry has evolved, I have, too.

Early in my career, I saw how the court system often hurt more than helped families in conflict. I poured hard work, anxiety, and time into a custody battle that went to late-stage mediation, and the Mediator leaned back in his chair with an air of, “It’s up to you.”

Right then, I wanted to become a Mediator because I saw how it could reduce the stress on me. I wasn’t yet thinking about how Mediation could benefit my client or be better for  a family.

But the more training I got, and the more I practiced Mediation, learning from great Mediators like Sheldon Larky and Zena Zumeta, I learned different styles and how much more satisfied my clients were with their outcomes.

Then came the Collaborative Divorce process that, like Mediation, offers families a way to resolve divorces out of court, with an intentional design to be family- and child-focused.

Over the years, I’ve continued my education and training, elevating my skills as a Mediator and Collaborative Divorce attorney. Now, I use Insight Mediation to facilitate conflict resolution, not just in Mediation, but in all my out-of-court work with clients.

Why Out-of-Court Methods Work So Well 

Alisa Peskin-Shepherd customizes every client case to suit their specific needs.

In Mediation, couples can  come in before they’ve retained attorneys, talk about what they value, and discuss the outcome they’d like to achieve in their divorce.

In Collaborative Divorce, clients are supported by a team of professionals. In both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, a divorcing couple has the ability to talk to each other—not through attorneys who tell them what they can and cannot have because of a judge’s protocol or biases.

As a Mediator and an attorney committed to out-of-court processes, I love helping people converse directly, toward clearly understanding one another, to move forward with confidence.

That makes a big difference in divorce outcomes. 

Divorce Does Not Have to Be a Battle

Nowadays, I prefer to practice where lawyers are not adversarial. When my career began, it was a given that lawyers would duke it out in court but be best buds outside of it. I threw in with the best of them, but I hated how it made me feel.

Turns out, my gut aligns with the neuroscience, which I’ve been studying in recent years. Conflict is driven by fear that people bring into the room, and that fear prevents them from truly hearing and understanding the other person.

When you actually understand why conflict happens, you can help clients more. That’s why I do this work—to help clients get from a place of chaos and crisis to a place of productivity and contentment.

I founded Transitions Legal with the belief that divorce is neither good nor bad. It is simply a transition between one state of being to another, a new beginning with a world of possibilities!

Letting go of the limitations of litigation is one more step in the direction of helping couples end marriages without unnecessary combat, keeping conversations productive, child-centered, and based on their values and priorities.

That is work I can be proud of and get excited to do!