And for the second year running, we are offering free introductory consultations for people considering divorce during Divorce with Respect Week, which runs March 1-8, 2026.
Divorce With Respect Week, a national initiative first introduced by Collaborative Practice California in 2021, unites divorce professionals throughout the country in raising awareness about Collaborative Divorce as a client-centered alternative to traditional litigation. It has grown into a national movement to help divorcing couples find a less combative way to untie the knot.
Last year, nearly 600 Collaborative professionals participated in Divorce with Respect Week®, and more than 16,000 visitors visited DivorceWithRespectWeek.com.
This effort focuses on the Collaborative Divorce process, which I’ve practiced for a long time. But I would take it further—divorcing with respect can only happen through processes that focus on equal footing, processes like Mediation as well as Collaborative Divorce.
Pretty much any out-of-court process that you can use to end a marriage promotes less combat and more harmony.
People divorcing today don’t want to engage in an adversarial process. They also want to keep costs down, and they want a divorce process that is easier to navigate.
In the available out-of-court processes, you’re always supported by a professional who focuses on your family. In the case of Collaborative Divorce, it’s a team of professionals—even better! Everyone involved has your true best interests at heart. What’s more, they listen to you and encourage your partner to listen as well.
A decade or two ago, when I would talk to people about alternative ways of getting divorced, it was so unknown that people shied away from it. No one wanted to be the guinea pig!
But times have changed, and I guess people have, too. When the court system was forced to go online during the pandemic, we all saw the possibilities and promise for resolving divorce outside of court.
No one wants to be on Zoom! It’s hard to focus, and hard to be seen or heard.
Recently, I’ve been caught up in a litigation case, one of my very last ones since I made the switch to focusing only on out-of-court processes. This case was ordered by the court to an evidentiary hearing (like a trial but in front of a Friend of the Court referee and it could still go to trial in front of the judge, too). This post-divorce judgment case has gone on for more than a year, and it’s still not done. So much of that is due to the overloaded court which cannot give us time on the docket often for weeks at a time.
There are so many cases that the court must manage and so many issues. My referee is handling so many cases with so many other responsibilities to thousands of families that they can only hold hearings on Tuesdays.
And, court-based outcomes are also very limiting because the court cannot possibly know each person’s values and what is important to them, nor consider within that context an individual family’s unique needs. Without this information the outcome can wholly miss the mark. The court system needs to move people through—not necessarily see them as individuals with their own needs and desires.
This is the way it’s always been done. But when you choose an out-of-court process for your divorce, you bring unique ideas and solutions to the table based on what is important to you and to your family. And people are prepared to hear you and take action toward your ideal outcomes.
Out-of-court, clients get more attention, which raises the level of respect—for yourself and your partner.
If you just think about the phrase—Divorce With Respect—it’s an invitation! It’s a challenge!
It means hearing, listening and understanding what each person is saying, even if you don’t agree. Giving them the respect to listen and to consider.
When we are all on the same page, when we all feel relevant, it’s a lot easier to find a resolution that works for everyone.
Effective this month, my law firm is now known as Transitions Legal:Collaborative Divorce & Mediation Center.
It’sa small changefrom theprevious—law offices of Alisa Peskin-Shepherd—but meaningful. This year,I’vetaken the leap to let go of litigation—a restrictive and limiting process.
This is not a decision I made quickly or took lightly.It’staken months (years, really) for me to feel confident doing so because litigation is what everyone knows, andlet’sbe honest, litigation is a guaranteed income stream, so it’s hard for many lawyers to let it go.
Butwhen January hit, and all myDecemberinvoices weresent, I felt like I was on the right path.
The way I practice family law has changed over time but also, the times have changed. Throughout it all, my values have remained steadfast.
When I created Transitions Legal, I proudly took what I called a “mediative” approach to litigation, wearing my Mediator hat even when litigating to more compassionately resolve divorces and other family law issues for my clients.
Family Law Has Changed Over Time
Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, at the beginning of Transitions Legal
When I first started in family law, Michigan had just formed the family court division—specific judges who handle all of the divorce and other family-related cases, and ONLY these types of cases.
Family court judges become specialized in the complicated issues that arise around the emotional, financial and legal issues facing families. Their work is driven by the motto: “one judge, one family,” which means a judge is assigned to that family, along with their Friend of the Court staff, for as long as the family is in the system.
Previously, any circuit court judge without the specialized knowledge, understanding and patience required for family law could be called on to handle family law cases.
Can you imagine?
Another change in my years of practicing has been a movement away from the default position of mothers getting custody of the children, childsupportand alimony tothe expectation that mothers will work, even ifthey’vebeen at home raising kids during the marriage.
This change troubles me. Every family situation is different, so creating a cookie-cutterexpectation is unfair.
That’sone bigreason motivating my move away fromlitigation—it’s limiting, it imposes uninformed societal trends, without considering what is best for a particular family!
Keeping Divorce Out of Court
Keeping divorce out of court helps familiesdeterminetheir best path for movingforward.
Another industry change has been asignificant evolution in parenting time.When I started practicing family law, fathers got “visitation.” Then,maybe theygot alternate weekends with their kids or a weeknight dinner.
Now, the court starts with a default of 50/50 parenting time split equally between both parents, and demands that attorneys make a case for anything different.
This isn’t law (though some would like it to be). It’s a societal ideal that does not fit every family.
(Read about what 50:50 parenting time really meanshere.)
Like everything with divorce, parenting time shouldbe designed specifically for that family. Just like you can’t expectstay-at-homemom to go back to work and start earning an income that is sufficient to support herself and her children, you can’t expect a dad to all-of-a-sudden know how to manage their children’s morning routines, make lunches, and get them out the door for school on time if they haven’t had to do it before.
Alisa Peskin-Shepherd’s Evolution as a Family Law Attorney
As the industry has evolved, I have, too.
Early in my career, I saw how the court system often hurt more than helped families in conflict.I pouredhard work, anxiety, and time intoacustody battle thatwent to late-stagemediation, and the Mediator leaned back in his chair with an air of, “It’s up to you.”
Right then,I wanted to become a Mediator because I sawhow it could reducethe stress on me. I wasn’t yet thinking about how Mediation could benefit my client or be better for a family.
But the more training I got, and the more I practiced Mediation, learning from great Mediators like Sheldon Larky and Zena Zumeta, I learned different styles and how much more satisfied my clients were with their outcomes.
Then came the Collaborative Divorce process that, like Mediation, offers families a way to resolve divorces out of court, with an intentional design to be family- and child-focused.
Over the years, I’ve continued my education and training, elevating my skills as a Mediator and Collaborative Divorce attorney. Now, I use Insight Mediation to facilitate conflict resolution, not just in Mediation, but in all my out-of-court work with clients.
Why Out-of-Court Methods Work So Well
Alisa Peskin-Shepherd customizes every client case to suit their specific needs.
In Mediation,couples can come in beforethey’veretainedattorneys, talk about what they value, and discuss the outcome they’d like to achieve in their divorce.
In Collaborative Divorce, clients are supported by a team of professionals. In both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, a divorcing couple has the ability to talk to each other—not through attorneys who tell them what they can and cannot have because of a judge’s protocol or biases.
As a Mediator and an attorney committed to out-of-court processes, Ilove helping people converse directly, toward clearly understanding one another, to move forward with confidence.
That makesa big differencein divorce outcomes.
Divorce Does Not Have to Be a Battle
Nowadays,I prefer to practice where lawyers are not adversarial.When my career began, it was a given that lawyers would duke it out in court but be best buds outside of it.I threw in with the best of them, but I hated how it made me feel.
Turns out, my gut aligns with the neuroscience, which I’ve been studying in recent years. Conflict is driven by fear that peoplebring into the room, and that fear prevents them from truly hearing and understanding the other person.
When you actually understand why conflict happens, you can help clients more.That’swhy I do this work—to help clients get from a place of chaos and crisis to a place of productivity and contentment.
I founded Transitions Legal with the belief that divorce is neither good nor bad. It is simply a transition between one state of being to another, a new beginning with a world of possibilities!
Letting go of the limitations of litigationis one more step in the direction of helping couples end marriages without unnecessary combat, keeping conversations productive, child-centered, and based on their values and priorities.
That is work I can be proud of and get excited to do!
While divorce is a difficult time in a person’s life, the process of divorce does not have to be difficult.
That is, if you have a good support team, from friends to your family law professionals. Having support from an understanding network can make all the difference in how the process goes, and how it feels.
In Collaborative Divorce, a couple builds a team of collaboratively-trained professionals to move them through their divorce. This includes two Collaborative Divorce attorneys plus a financial neutral, a divorce coach and sometimes other professionals who can assist with the process. Each professional has taken the Introductory Training Course, at a minimum, to be able to practice in this legal forum.
There will be an Introductory Training in May hosted by the Collaborative Practice Institute of Michigan. I’d love to see more of my colleagues in the legal realm join us! Find all details here.
This team of professionals helps couples get through emotional, legal and logistical details. Financial experts, in addition to the financial neutral, can help settle questions related to a business one partner may own, or retirement assets, or properties they own together, including mortgage and refinancing details.
Regardless of who wants the divorce, emotions will be at a heightened state at some point during the process, if not the entire time. That’s why it’s so helpful to include divorce coaches who are licensed therapists as part of the “team” guiding people through the process.
No matter how you look at it, it’s a difficult decision to leave a marriage. Once you do, hopefully you start to feel better, and then the process doesn’t have to be difficult with the right people around you.
Even when a client wants a Collaborative Divorce, but their spouse does not (both must agree to use this process), I rely on the tools, principles and perspectives I’ve learned in my Collaborative Divorce training. So even if I support a client through Litigation or Mediation, they’re benefiting from these powerful, supportive approaches.
And, when I work with clients, I will usually recommend bringing in a financial expert or divorce coach to weigh in on their situation. It helps the divorce process go more smoothly for them and leads the client to a better, healthier outcome.
Like I said, divorce doesn’t have to be difficult. And when you retain control over all the decisions in your breakup, which the Collaborative Divorce process guarantees, you’ll most likely be happier in the end. Isn’t that the goal, after all?
I love learning, honing my skills as a Collaboratively trained family law attorney and mediator, and bringing new skills to the table!
In 2024 thus far, I’ve continued to learn more about the Insight Approach to Conflict Resolution, as a curious mediator, diving deeper into the theory and the practice. In other blogs and social media posts, I’ve mentioned the challenge and difficulty in learning this wise, comprehensive approach like here and here and here.
As I reflect on my skill-building for the year, Insight remains the strongest area where I am continuing to grow. I wish I had more time to read because there’s a lot of material about the Insight Approach for resolving conflicts, though I am conscious all the time about practicing the curiosity piece and wondering more instead of assuming I know what is best for my clients.
I’ve noticed the reaction from my colleagues when I’m asking more questions. Some are supportive, saying, “oh, that was a brilliant question!” as they see our clients reflect and open up their communication about an issue. And others are resistant, thinking I’m wasting our time by probing deeper.
Part of the Collaborative Law Divorce Process is being committed to clients driving the decisions, as opposed to us telling them what to do. I ask questions to help them find out what information they need so they can make a decision. How can you make a beneficial decision without all the necessary information?
In litigation, I was always the attorney known for attention to detail, and it annoyed a number of my colleagues on the other side. But I have to practice in the way that I know to be in my clients’ best interests!
Some colleagues have said, supposedly in jest (but I know better!), that my attention to detail drove them crazy. But that’s why clients come to me. I often operate in ways different from the way most attorneys practice, but I believe in my commitment to my clients. Annoyance may come from not really understanding the process of the Insight Approach, so I invite colleagues to participate alongside me many times!
I’ve expanded my skillset this year in other ways, too, largely due to free webinars offered by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. As busy as I am, I make time to attend monthly opportunities for professional development.
No matter how long I practice family law, I know I have more to learn. It makes me a better lawyer and fills my skillset with options to benefit my clients.
One more thing I’ve learned this year is that most people who come to me want to use the Collaborative Law process to divorce. Often, their spouses do not. That’s frustrating, but I am so heartened to see a growing desire to divorce through a Collaborative Legal Process. I look forward to the time when more attorneys are on board to close the gap in ways to approach Family Law.
When I chose family law as my specialty, it was because it was a more focused and high-level way to help families during difficult times of their lives. Originally, I thought I might go into social work but I learned that through law, I could empower and support families in meaningful and long-lasting ways.
My career was inspired by the experiences of my own childhood – as happens with so many people. I grew up without a lot of stability in my family, and I wanted to help both children and parents not have to go through that.
So I became a lawyer, learned the nuances of family law, and recognized that even when a marital relationship breaks down, the family doesn’t have to fall to pieces. That’s the beauty of family law.
While there are many divorce lawyers around, not many focus on helping people. The natural inclination is to get the job done – file for divorce, go through the negotiations, see it through to completion and wish your client well.
However, even when a client must go through the litigation process – which I’ll always say is my very last choice for a divorce because it takes the power away from the couple and puts it in the hands of people who are not impacted by the outcome – we use Collaborative and Insight-based approaches.
Photo by Chris Sabor on Unsplash
Many clients come to us because we specialize in Collaborative Divorce and also because I am trained in the Insight Approach to Conflict Resolution. But not every divorce can be Collaborative. However, we can and do use those principles and ideals to guide our case no matter where it ends up.
If we end up in litigation, don’t litigation clients also deserve a compassionate and insightful attorney that would guide them in the same way that I would guide a client in non-adversarial process? Absolutely! So that’s what we do.
And that’s why I continue to practice family law. Because not only can I help good people through one of the worst times of their lives with grace, dignity and compassion, I can bring a big-picture, insight-based approach to any divorce.
This is the second year that I’ve participated in Divorce With Respect Week, and the second year I have brought it to Michigan—expanding our reach across the state.
Pretty much any out-of-court process that you can use to end a marriage promotes less combat and more harmony.
This is the way it’s always been done. But when you choose an out-of-court process for your divorce, you bring unique ideas and solutions to the table based on what is important to you and to your family. And people are prepared to hear you and take action toward your ideal outcomes.
Effective this month, my law firm is now known as Transitions Legal:
Like everything with divorce, parenting time should
There will be an Introductory Training in May hosted by the 
I love learning, honing my skills as a Collaboratively trained family law attorney and mediator, and bringing new skills to the table!
I’ve expanded my skillset this year in other ways, too, largely due to free webinars offered by the 
When I chose 