Introducing Our Family in Two Homes – a divorce resource now offered by Transitions Legal!

Introducing Our Family in Two Homes – a divorce resource now offered by Transitions Legal!

by | Jan 17, 2022 | Collaborative Divorce, Family Law, Legal Process, Transitions Legal News

Introducing Our Family in Two Homes – a divorce resource now offered by Transitions Legal!

If I had a resource like Our Family in Two Homes (OFTH) when I was getting married and raising children, I would have been so supported!

It never occurred to me way back when, nor does it to most people, to think through and articulate my values, my perspectives, and my beliefs on parenting, partnership, finances and more – and if I had, I bet I could have avoided many marital arguments or parenting disconnects.

Most people don’t really think through these things when it comes to the most important relationships of our lives because it’s just not embedded in our culture to do so. Think about all the romantic movies you’ve enjoyed in your life, which painted a picture of relationships as easy, automatic and synergistic. That rarely happens in real life.

Of course, I see couples when things have gone so wrong, they’ve given up hope that they can stay together. Nonetheless, I am excited to offer OFTH as a unique resource to help couples who are contemplating divorce, already decided to split or going through mediation.

They begin by going through pages 1-13 of the workbook, where they’ll find questions to help them get in touch with what is important to them for the divorce process. These pages cover communication, trust, emotions, values, expression tendencies and more.

It goes so much deeper than the kids or the house. What I love about this resource is how it helps clients discover their personal and collective core values and decision-making preferences. There is a lot of work people can do on their own before they come to an attorney, and this work helps them be more efficient with their attorney, which can sometimes reduce overall legal costs and time spent negotiating.

An example of this is when a client comes to me and insists they want to keep the house, but they’re not sure they can afford to do so, I have to dig deep with them to determine first what is important to them about the house. Then we explore the feelings behind it. That can take a lot of time at billable rates! I enjoy doing this kind of work with my clients. I am also aware that some clients are watching their money. This can save them on fees that might be needed further down the road, or better yet for their kids’ college education.

But if the same client worked through this on their own with the workbook, they would save time spent with me, their attorney, and get moving on the actions required to facilitate their breakup.

I use OFTH in Collaborative Divorce cases and also in Mediation. Individuals can purchase the workbook directly from Transitions Legal, and in doing so, they also get three consulting hours with me as they work through it.

The goal is for people to understand themselves better and understand the divorce process more. Also, they gain insights in how they interact and communicate, which helps an attorney know what they are dealing with in the case. They can draw out an introverted spouse or respectfully ask an extroverted spouse to give the other person some time to speak.

There are, of course, instances where using this workbook might help a couple to identify some of their nagging problems and decide to work on resolving them in an effort to stay together. That’s a lovely outcome when it happens!!

Regardless of the situation, anyone who uses this resource will gain clarity. They’ll understand elements of divorce like parenting time and custody, and know how these are established in the state of Michigan, where I practice. They’ll also know the background of the law to help them reach their decisions.

People often say, “I don’t know what I don’t know.” This resource gives you what you want to know.

To learn more about Our Family in Two Homes or to purchase the workbook-consulting package, click here.

The Challenges of Virtual Lawyering

The Challenges of Virtual Lawyering

by | Jul 19, 2021 | Legal Process

The Challenges of Virtual Lawyering

We are more than a year into pandemic protocols of varying levels, and one thing that seems here to stay is a reliance on Zoom and other virtual technologies that let us connect from a distance.

That’s a good thing, right? We can get our work done, see people’s smiling faces, move things forward without having to leave our homes or risk getting sick. Great.

But at what cost?

virtual

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

I’m not sure this is due to the pandemic, but I’ve noticed lately that nobody looks in each other’s eyes anymore. There is no real eye contact. Did this occur because of Zoom, where you’re forced to look up at your webcam to come across as looking directly at someone when really you’re not?

Or was it already a habit that predates this unusual time?

Regardless of its origins, when we lose eye contact, we lose human connection.

Personally, while I appreciate all the possibilities that Zoom brings us, I find it distracting – I never know where to look. The mechanics of the technology make me feel more distant from my client, the other attorney, the judge, whoever is on the other end of the conversation.

That does not happen in court or in a conference room.

In those settings, not only can I see whether the other people are looking my way or at something else, I can feel their energy and the chemistry between us.

And so I began to wonder what our relationships lose, and society in general, when we are together less often, and rarely peering into someone’s eyes.

virtual

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Looking directly into someone’s eyes is an intense, human connection. When people are testing credibility, they question why another person is always looking down or just can’t look you in the eye. Does this indicate they have a hard time being honest or revealing the truth?

Because if you can be secretly multitasking during a virtual meeting, not only are you not looking into someone’s eyes, your mind is somewhere else. Everything is lost.

And there is a chance this won’t get better if companies and professionals continue to work at home.

I’ve spoken to young professionals who think it’s ridiculous to have everyone in one physical place. There is something great about the freedom to work from anywhere, but there is merit in going to the office and not sitting home alone every day. People got dogs during COVID because they didn’t want to be lonely.

A hybrid might work, if during the time we spend in company with others, we really focus on connecting.

As for me, I prefer to meet with my clients and settle cases in person. I believe it’s the best way to know my sincerity, to feel comfortable with the person you’re counting on to see this process through. I owe it to my clients to be front, center, and attentive. And it’s only fair that everyone else involved in their case – judge, opposing counsel, and anyone else – is, too.

It’s easier for clients to obscure details and hide truths when you meet at a distance. I can’t do the case justice if I don’t know everything. We all win when we can truly connect at a deep and honest level.

Good work comes from real connections. In real-time. On a foundation of trust.

Read more Legal Process posts

The Changing Legal Landscape

The Changing Legal Landscape

by | Aug 11, 2020 | Legal Process

The Changing Legal Landscape

During this time of pandemic shutdowns, legal process and procedure were forced to change.

Suddenly, we had no choice but to practice differently, and the court system had to accept drastic changes to legal processes. The way we always knew to practice law simply does not work in a pandemic.

Is Change Good?

I’ve pondered whether this change prompted all of us in the legal field to become more creative. Or did it just bring us into the 21st century? Are we finally embracing a new face of law that was inevitable, but which we resisted until we had no choice?

This happened in a lot of industries and fields. Companies that did not embrace work-from-home did so quickly and completely to protect the health of employees and clients.

Surprisingly, they found productivity did not wane! In many cases, productivity improved because people were trusted to get work done and do it well.

legal landscape

Image by Ohioduidefense from Pixabay

How Divorce Law Happens

The legal field is an interesting mix of independent and communal work. A lot of my work happens in my office, on my computer, pulling research and precedent and templates to create motions, judgments, and other written pieces of legal process.

There is also work I cannot do alone. For litigation cases, I must appear in court, beside my client.

Their spouse must appear as well, with his or her attorney. We appear in a court room, before a judge, with the courtroom clerk, Friend of the Court representatives and witnesses, too.

That’s a lot of people in a small space. In normal times, there are also other people awaiting their turn before the judge

legal landscape

Photo by Headway on Unsplash

We all show up in a closed room without windows, waiting for our turn to be heard.

That’s just one example of how divorce law can be a very in-person process. But in a pandemic, all that had to change to keep people safe.

We’ve discovered that cases get done anyway, even in totally unprecedented conditions.

I wonder, will divorce law remain a distance activity?

The court has started live streaming legal proceedings out of necessity. Might we continue once it’s safe to gather again?

A New Approach to Family Law

Or, are we finding new efficiencies that we want to keep going forward, independent of public health mandates?

People are historically resistant to change. We know what we know, and we are comfortable in familiar routines.

But change is the only constant, and when something changes, we end up better for it.

There is no question that something is lost when we cannot gather together. But perhaps something is gained, too.

Read more about the Legal Process

Navigating Divorce During the Coronavirus Crisis

Navigating Divorce During the Coronavirus Crisis

by | Mar 24, 2020 | Family Law

Navigating Divorce During the Coronavirus Crisis

coronavirus crisis

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When people go through a divorce, their lives turn upside down temporarily, and it can seem like it will never end. Now, all people around the world are experiencing an unprecedented time of uncertainty due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Already-divorced families may wonder how to navigate parenting time or other related court orders during the current shutdowns and stay-at-home initiatives. We wrote this letter for our clients to offer some guidance at this time. We look forward to connecting soon when the situation resolves!

Dear Transitions Legal clients,

During these unprecedented times, due to the COVID19 situation, you may be wondering how shutdowns, social distancing, and new initiatives every day may impact your ongoing family law case, or your existing parenting time situation. Please be assured that we at Transitions Legal are continuing to work on your case during this unsettling time, following state and federal precautions to slow the spread of the virus and maintain health.

On March 16th, we received a statement from the Michigan Supreme Court on matters concerning children in family law situations followed by Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s “Stay Home, Stay Safe” Order issued on March 23rd. In short, parenting time and child support orders are to continue unencumbered during this time as much as possible.

The Stay Home, Stay Safe Order does not prohibit parents from transporting their children to the other parent’s residence to comply with custody and parenting time orders and agreements.

Coronavirus Crisis

Photo by Mesut Kaya on Unsplash

Should situations arise that make the typical parenting time challenging, or should there be a concern for the health of either parent or any of the children, there are next steps mapped out in the Supreme Court’s letter.

It is our hope that during these times especially, co-parents will come together for the health and safety of their children and reach an agreement.

coronavirus crisis

Photo by Jordan Hopkins on Unsplash

We encourage you to increase telephone and video communication where the child is not able to continue the regular parenting time. Additionally, assure each other that there will be make-up parenting time once health and medical concerns resolve.

At this time of uncertainty, it is easy to feel fearful and anxious. None of us knows how this situation will unfold or when it will resolve.

But it will resolve, and we will come through this together. If you need to talk or release any of these fears, we at Transitions Legal are here for you. Please email or call to let us know how you’re doing. In the meantime, stay well.

Read more Family Law posts