How Much Will You Get? Determining Child Support

How Much Will You Get? Determining Child Support

by | Nov 23, 2020 | Family Law

How Much Will You Get? Determining Child Support

In divorce cases litigated in Michigan, the amount of child support is determined by a formula developed by the State office of the Friend of the Court. In most cases, we have no say in the amount of support after providing documentation of income sources.

What Is Child Support?

child support

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Child support is the term for money paid by one parent to the other to help provide for their children.

Support is intended to cover day-to-day living expenses, such as shelter and food costs, and includes components for health insurance, healthcare expenses, and childcare.

Plus, it divides the financial responsibility for the children between parents based on each parent’s monthly net income and the amount of time the child spends with each parent.

The Differences in Collaborative Divorce

In Collaborative Divorce cases, however, we embark on a conversation between the divorcing parents to determine not only their own living expenses, but also the expenses attributable to the children specifically.

The parents can evaluate the amount determined by applying the Child Support Formula against their real-life expenses. Then, they make a decision if it is appropriate to deviate from the Formula.

The parents can also decide if they can arrange the children’s budget in a more creative and equitable fashion.

Here’s How it Happens in Litigated Divorces

In a Court-based, litigated divorce, the amount of support can deviate from the Formula IF it is in the best interests of the child. However, proving this is difficult, cumbersome, and costly. Divorcing couples only achieve deviation in Court where the parties actually agree on the issue.

When a couple decides to divorce, they must accept that child support is a simple formula in which they have little to no say. However, the process they choose for divorce can make a difference in how support is decided.

Check out this resource from the state of Michigan for more information.

child support

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The Effect of Divorce on Adolescent-Parent Communication

The Effect of Divorce on Adolescent-Parent Communication

by | May 5, 2020 | Kids & Co-parenting

The Effect of Divorce on Adolescent-Parent Communication

Recently, I came across a fascinating article by Canadian mental health advocate and Huffington Post writer Patricia Tomasi and felt compelled to write to her about this concept of whether teens whose parents divorce are affected in the ways that they communicate with their parents. (There’s lots of great research in the article, so check it out!)

I wrote to Patricia, and I am awaiting her response. I’ll include it in a future blog when I hear from her.

In a nutshell, the research suggests that post-divorce, especially daughters experience difficulty communicating with their fathers. This makes sense to me, and here’s why.

Fathers often rely on mothers to serve as buffers between them and the children. In a two-parent home, fathers often spend less time with the children, or take less time to understand their children on a personal level, relying on their wives to do that important work for them.

It’s a problem, definitely! And especially when research reveals that children often unconsciously learn how to have relationships based on the relationship they have with their opposite sex parent. So if a daughter has trouble talking with her dad post-divorce, this can have immense repercussions on a variety of levels.

communication

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In our society, many men still discount what women and girls have to say, which inspires a trickle-down effect that fathers may play out unknowingly with their daughters. Discounting feelings, not considering a daughter’s needs that may be different from their own, and other unconscious behaviors create long-term negative effects – which become glaring when the buffer of a mother’s love and understanding are removed from the family relationship.
communication

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It’s become more common to aim for equal parenting time for mothers and fathers in divorces, and I’m happy to see many fathers stepping up, becoming more involved and more attentive post-divorce when it’s all on them.

There are many fathers, however, who continue with the status quo, and if children are with them half the time, that’s a problem.

I’d love it if we could have automatic reviews of the parenting time schedule, like we do with child support. In Michigan, every three years, the Friend of the Court reviews the child support amounts at no cost to the parents, and makes adjustments as needed.

However, if a parent wants to change parenting time, and the other parent does not agree, they must file a motion with the court and meet difficult legal standards.

It’s a costly, arduous process which most often yields no change, and pits parents against one another in an adversarial process. That ill will does not help the co-parenting relationship, and it does children a disservice.
communication

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Ultimately, I believe divorce should be an ever-evolving situation where we take stock and amend the parameters on a regular basis for everyone’s benefit. That way, children and adolescents can ease into new relationships with both parents at a pace that is measured, reasonable and comfortable for them.

We want children to have good, healthy, communicative relationships with both parents. What is the best way we can assure this happens?

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Process: Waiting in Court

Process: Waiting in Court

by | Nov 29, 2018 | Legal Process

Process: Waiting in Court

So many times, I’ve gone to court on a motion, and I spend a lot of time sitting and waiting.

We all do.

Clients sit and wait for lawyers to negotiate. Lawyers sit and wait for referee or family counselors to make decisions.

Judges wait for referees to make recommendations that judges can rule on.

travel work

This whole process of family court is a big sit-and-wait proposition. So much waiting time, awkward, wordless, uncomfortable.

Whenever possible, I try not to go to court.

travel work

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I mean, if we can work out a settlement in a comfortable office with hot coffee and low lighting, why not?

Doing so certainly follows the mediative approach I strive for with my practice.

When I do go to court, I find it frustrating to wait in narrow hallways, tapping fingers, leafing through papers we’ve already reviewed many times.

Is there a way to change the system?

Hopefully, we can find ways to improve the way family law happens. We’re all in this together. My goal is to be helpful to families, and I believe that’s a goal shared by referees, Friend of the Court, judges, clerks, anyone who is involved in family law.

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