Later this month (August 14), it’s National...
Marriage Isn’t Everything
Many of us have grown up in a fairy tale society where little girls have the vision of Disney princesses being whisked off by daring, dashing princes. They choose Halloween costumes all fluffy and shiny, with tiaras and wands. They believe that a romantic prince or king or handsome man on a gorgeous horse is their dream-come-true. Little boys believe in being a rescuer, saving a damsel in distress; where revealing their true emotions is a sign of weakness.
We all grow up thinking the goal is to get married, have children, and live happily ever after. When that doesn’t always work out, we divorce, lick our wounds, lift ourselves up by our boots and believe romance and relationships are still possible. After all, according to all the movies and TV shows, this is what we’re meant to do – pair off, walk hand-in-hand into the sunset.
But what if that’s not what every human is destined for? What if coupling isn’t really for everyone?
I know it’s daring to say it, but I don’t think marriage is the be-all end-all that our society has created it to be.
Frankly, marriage isn’t for everyone. That’s the story we’re told, the cycle of life. Some religions even offer a notion that our meant-to-be is predestined before we are even born, written in the stars, and the connection will last more than a lifetime, into the hereafter.
This is all societal construct. Sure, there are many people who want to share their life with someone. Who do better when they are in a relationship. Who love nurturing another and being nurtured.
But it’s not for everyone. And that has to be ok.
It does not feel optional to opt-out of marriage in our society.
Or in any society, for that matter.
It’s a global message to find a partner and stick it out through thick and thin, even if you’d rather spend time alone, even if they become your least favorite person.
And along with that message is another that if you’re not paired off, something is missing from your life, or something is wrong with you.
We each come into this world alone – loved, mostly, by those who brought us here, but we are ultimately alone. I believe each person has his or her unique destiny, their own way to contribute to the world, to make the world better during their years on Earth.
That may include relationships. And it may not.