Divorce mediation is a true first love of mine,...
The Power of the 11th Hour in Last Minute Divorce Negotiation
Sometimes finding creative ways to reframe divorce settlements can ease tensions.
For example, a client’s husband found it more palatable to pay attorney fees directly to his wife’s attorney rather than to pay his wife money as property settlement which she would then use for her attorney fees. It’s all the same amount of money; creative redistributing can make an easier outcome for all.
Small shifts can make a big difference when feelings of anger, sadness or uncertainty are involved. Although I was prepared to improve my client’s settlement, she and her husband agreed on our bottom-line offer.
If you’re caught up in a last-minute divorce settlement, remember to step back and take a deep breath.
As divorce trials approach, the hours before a court appearance can be filled with last-minute negotiations and rounds of offers and counter-offers.
Emotions between the divorcing couple run high, and it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture, the context and the greater good.
There’s a fine balance between taking on the other person’s perspective to get closer to settlement and making sure you maintain enough of your own perspective that you don’t settle for too little. The offer on the table must be weighed against the cost of extensive attorney fees for trial and the possibility that a mediated or trial settlement could be better or worse.
There is no sure settlement in court, even though the current offer may fall short of your expectations. Weigh in on the costs of continued litigation with the financial reality of the result you seek – and the emotional impact on family members who are directly involved in the restructuring of your family, especially your children.
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