Should You Divorce?
How do you know when it’s time to end a marriage?
Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for years and are leaning toward splitting up. Is there a point when you just know it’s time?
That’s a great question, and there is no real answer.
The only way to know if you should end a marriage is by asking yourself questions and considering all the options.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
- Am I happy? Followed by, Is happiness the goal? If you’re not happy, but you didn’t plan to focus your marriage on being happy all the time, that may not be enough of a reason to end it all. But, if you are just miserable in your daily life, then maybe it is. Consider how much happiness weighs into your well-being and your personal pursuits, and then weigh that against other factors.
- What am I unhappy with? Get specific and honest, and then determine if these are things that will exist beyond the marriage, that you need to work on, or if they are truly a result of the merging of the two of you.
- Are there things I can do within the relationship to make it work? What are they? Are you willing to do them?
- Have I done everything that I possibly could to make this marriage work? If not, do those things because you never want to look back and regret your decision.
Some other questions to ask include…
- Am I in love with the person or in love with the idea of being in love?
- Am I afraid of the effect on the children, of being alone, of what other people will think about?
- Am I afraid of losing friends?
- Do we still share the same values?
- Am I able to share my thoughts and feelings, and are they accepted?
- Do we have fun?
- Am I ok having fun in other relationships and seeing the marriage as a partnership? And will my partner be ok with that, too?
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