Should You Divorce?
How do you know when it’s time to end a marriage?
Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for years and are leaning toward splitting up. Is there a point when you just know it’s time?
That’s a great question, and there is no real answer.
The only way to know if you should end a marriage is by asking yourself questions and considering all the options.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
- Am I happy? Followed by, Is happiness the goal? If you’re not happy, but you didn’t plan to focus your marriage on being happy all the time, that may not be enough of a reason to end it all. But, if you are just miserable in your daily life, then maybe it is. Consider how much happiness weighs into your well-being and your personal pursuits, and then weigh that against other factors.
- What am I unhappy with? Get specific and honest, and then determine if these are things that will exist beyond the marriage, that you need to work on, or if they are truly a result of the merging of the two of you.
- Are there things I can do within the relationship to make it work? What are they? Are you willing to do them?
- Have I done everything that I possibly could to make this marriage work? If not, do those things because you never want to look back and regret your decision.
Some other questions to ask include…
- Am I in love with the person or in love with the idea of being in love?
- Am I afraid of the effect on the children, of being alone, of what other people will think about?
- Am I afraid of losing friends?
- Do we still share the same values?
- Am I able to share my thoughts and feelings, and are they accepted?
- Do we have fun?
- Am I ok having fun in other relationships and seeing the marriage as a partnership? And will my partner be ok with that, too?
Read more Collaborative Divorce Posts
Start a Divorce Case with the End in Mind
One reason I like Collaborative Divorce so much is that we begin the divorce case with an ideal outcome in mind. Usually, the divorcing parties want to be collegial and, if they are parents, work together once their marriage is legally over.
Taking Divorce Virtual
This blog first appeared on the website for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Read the original blog here. In the era of COVID-19, everyone is using virtual meeting software to conduct business.
Taking Divorce Virtual: How a Michigan Collaborative Team Manages a Case in Colorado
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