Positive Perspective

by Alisa Peskin-Shepherd | Nov 7, 2016 | Off Topic

“Good morning!

I hope that you are doing okay. You will heal and you will move forward; and life will be wonderful and fulfilling! It will happen!!

I was thinking about the fact that the professionals you have chosen to work with are all people with whom I also connect because our philosophies align; as a client, we each want to support you to feel whole and great about yourself in your life journey.

Remember, sometimes we get to make the choices, but sometimes life happens and we don’t have control. What we do have control of, however, is the ability to surround ourselves with good friends, good support and trusted counsel (advice). I believe that you have done a fabulous job at making such choices.

Let me know if there is anything you need from me. Otherwise, we will be in touch after I receive a draft of the proposed Judgment of Divorce and/or next week for our settlement conference.”

I sent this email sent to a client after settling a difficult case. In this instance, my client did not want the divorce.

Nonetheless, we have to play the hand we’re dealt and make the best of it, right?

Clients come to me to help them through a legal process. But I also believe it is my role to guide my client to adopt a positive perspective, no matter the details of their situation.

We do this with our children and hopefully we do it for ourselves. Sometimes life deals you a tough blow. What do you choose to do with it?

I prefer to help my clients see all the good in them and around them.

Sometimes there’s good that they haven’t been able to express because they’ve been held back unknowingly by a spouse or marriage and divorce is their chance, finally, to be who they were meant to be.

I give positive feedback about that person’s strengths. There are plenty of opportunities to do this, like during a mediation session, sitting in court waiting, on the phone when they call me upset, or in an email. In those moments, I remind them of their individual strengths and goodness.

Back to the client I sent this email to – during her marriage, she was always trying to help her husband be a better person, but she was, at the same time, very self-sufficient. Financially, she had a good mindset and strong knowledge. Still, she couldn’t see any of this because she was so upset about the quote-unquote failed marriage.

Over time, this client realized that the divorce was the best thing that could happen to her within this relationship.

Sometimes I can say that directly – you’re going to see this is so good for you, he/she is doing you a favor. You’ve wanted to be able to have this kind of relationship with your children but haven’t been able to because their other parent has interfered, now you’ll have your own time with your children to develop your own separate relationship.

Sometimes it takes time. Regardless of how it happens, this is the end result of what I do. I counsel people through the process of transitioning from one life phase to the next, and help them reclaim the confidence they need to move forward.