(Mediative) – What Does That Mean?
I practice mediative divorce law. What exactly does it mean to be mediative? Glad you asked. Mediative is an approach and a mindset to know that our first goal is to collaborate and work with the other side, cooperatively. You can’t always do it, but you should start out with that intention. That’s important because for the family, for your family, being mediative allows you to maintain a sense of respect for the other person. This is important especially if you have children. Think about how your children feel about your divorce; think about how your children can feel if they are aware that you’re going through this process still respecting their other parent. Listen, when a couple goes through a divorce to dissolve their marriage, it’s unrealistic to expect them to get along all of the time or even in some cases much of the time. And really, they don’t need to get along in every area. But when there are children involved, those two people are going to be connected and making joint decisions affecting their children for many years. Especially then, you want to be able to make decisions in as much harmony as possible. It makes the road less bumpy and the outcomes easier to achieve and live. Plus, all throughout their lives, no matter their age even as adults, those children are going to feel the effects of your relationship, just like they did when you were married. It helps to reduce the stress and tension during a challenging period of time. Taking a mediative approach can reduce stress tremendously. You can breathe through your process easier. You may be mad. You may be hurt. There may be unforgivable things that occurred between you which led to this break-down in the relationship. None of that matters. Once you decide to divorce, I say do it with as much dignity and respect for the other person as possible – and if not for them because that respect is not always reciprocated, then for yourself. You don’t need to look back on this period of time and wish you’d handled it with more grace.