I’m Not Always (This) Sweet

by Alisa Peskin-Shepherd | Apr 21, 2016 | Family Law

While I have built a practice on being “mediative,” that doesn’t mean I can’t kick my family law chops into high-gear and make the aggressive moves when necessary and appropriate.

It’s so funny – when another attorney or friend says to me that they expect me to hold back and be a moderate because of this “mediative” tone I set for my practice. So when I get aggressive or assertive, they’re taken aback.

The thing is being mediative and being assertive are not mutually exclusive. If I need to be aggressive, I will be aggressive. I’ve heard your website is so soft, but your response was so strong – and I answer that discrepancy with a nod to the idea that perception and necessity are not always the same.

I can be tough when I need to be.

It’s my philosophy that in family law you shouldn’t have to drag each other through the mud. That said, if I need to issue a strong response on behalf of a client, I will – I do.

I’m not the roll-over-and-play-dead kind of lawyer. I’m not reticent. I will stand up when I need to. I just try to let dignity and integrity lead the charge and win whenever possible.

Being “mediative” and having as your goal to use court as a last resort does not mean that you don’t advocate for your client.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t take a position, a strong position.

I love when someone calls me a bulldog. I can be tough for my clients if I have to be.

So if there’s an issue that needs to be dealt with but we are hitting a wall, yes, I would love it if we could work it out instead of going to court, but that is not always possible.

When I see nitpicky details coming up in a case, I try to take the mediation route, an important private process that maintains dignity. There are always options.

I don’t hold back just because I have a mediative philosophy. It’s always the greatest compliment when a client’s ex refers me to friends.

Or when I was referred to in court as “a bulldog,” that was one of the greatest compliments, because people don’t expect that to come out of me. They see a little, petite person with a professed preference to be “mediative,” so they don’t always expect the assertiveness and the arguments to emerge from my mouth.

Being “mediative” does not mean being walked on or being soft. It means being dignified and having integrity. It means always advocating zealously for my client.