Honesty Is The Best Policy

I’ve always believed that honesty is the best policy – in every relationship, but especially in divorce. With your kids, with your ex, with anyone touched by the divorce. Generally, that is true. But it may not be when there are difficult or damaging details you could share, say, about your ex with your children. In that case, you’re insulting their other parent, and in a way, insulting the kids themselves. The best rule of thumb in divorce is to hold your head high and only focus on the good. Obviously, there were reasons – good reasons, big reasons, or many small reasons adding up – why you decided to end the marriage. Sometimes it could be infidelity, abuse, abandonment, or other unbearable situations that have no excuse. Even still, do the kids need to know this? How will it benefit them? And if you can’t think of a way, then it’s not in their best interests to know. If you’re honest with yourself then you can probably see that both you and your ex were parties to the breakdown in your relationship. And thus, since you won’t trash yourself, don’t trash the ex. Hold yourself high and focus on the positives – that you have beautiful children together, that you both have a second chance to get love right, that you are happy now and you hope your ex is, too. Focusing on the good makes honesty easy. And, it makes you happier, too. If we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that there is always a positive side to every situation. Let’s train our eyes to focus on that.