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So many people believe their partner should complete them. Thank popular culture and rom-coms for that notion!!

But it couldn’t be further from the truth.

A person must be whole on their own before they link up with a partner if they want their relationship to last. Because only two complete, confident individuals can come together and make it through the ups and downs of decades.

Every relationship gets rocky. Every relationship has highs and lows. Sometimes you adore your partner and can’t get enough of them. Sometimes you can’t stand the sound of their voice.

Before considering a split, though, take a long look at yourself. How are you to blame for the problems in your relationship? (Unless you’re dealing with addiction, infidelity or abuse, that is.)

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If you realize you have co-dependent tendencies, or your insecurities are driving your relationship contributions, perhaps the better move is to work on yourself. Find a therapist or life coach. Consider couples counseling. Reassess your own life and look for ways you can improve your personal happiness without demanding more from your partner.

Only after you’ve tried everything to improve yourself and your situation, only then would I suggest a person consider divorce.

Because the thing with a breakup is that your problems go with you when you leave the relationship. Eventually, you’ll find that the same things about the partner you left show up in the next partner. And the next.

That’s because you haven’t resolved you.

Understanding yourself is essential before you can make good decisions for your relationship. Maybe a split IS the right thing. But don’t think that it will fix YOU.

Just like another person cannot complete you, leaving another person won’t magically make you happy.