Changing the World, Changing Focus
Does any entrepreneur look at what they do as a path to changing the world?
I’ve recently contemplated this and decided that perhaps we should. I am a family law attorney and mediator. What business do I have trying to change the world in my profession?
With at least 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, wouldn’t it be better to see the happiness at the end of the divorce process rather than all the negativity that gets spewed into the world?
So, what I want to do to change the world is this: focus on the positive that comes from dissolution, the happiness at the end of the divorce tunnel.
People hear you are getting divorced and the first thing most people say is “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Maybe it is a sad occurrence, but that is not all it is. Move beyond that statement or that feeling and think of what lies ahead for that person, who may have spent years in an unhappy situation or with their spouse being unhappy.
People say, “Children of divorce this, children of divorce that, all the negative things that happen to children of divorce.” They cite statistics, discuss the demons that plague children of divorce for having a family in two houses or parents in different geographic settings.
It could all be true. But it doesn’t have to be.
(Therapists also say it is better to have two happy parents living separately than two unhappy parents living together. If parents can conduct themselves positively through the divorce, children will feel more positive about their new lives with two loving parents.)
We don’t focus enough on the positives that come from divorce – in fact, there are many! When people make the decision to end one way of life and choose another, it can be from a place of strength rather than trauma. Sure, change is difficult, but it does not have to be bad.
Frankly, we don’t focus on the strengths at all! With all the research out there about how divorce harms those involved, with divorce affecting so many people, wouldn’t focusing on the research of the good that comes from ending an unhealthy marriage and showing children an example of at least one healthy, loving parent, if not two, make this world a better place?
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November is often considered a month to focus on gratitude, and I believe gratitude and patience are important assets in divorce. First, you can’t be angry and appreciative at the same time. One must outweigh the other.
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