Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Divorce attorneys are fond of saying that they see good people at their worst. Indeed, it’s hard to bring your best self to divorce – especially if you did not initiate the breakup!

Still, a divorce is a legal transaction, not an emotional healing. An attorney represents the legal aspects of the divorce and while the Transitions Legal team is compassionate and guided by the Insight Approach to dispute resolution, no matter what method a client chooses for their split, it can be hard to succeed on our clients’ behalf if they are emotionally wrecked during the process.

So, how do you bring your best self to your divorce?

  1. Articulate Your Values & Priorities. Tapping into the intellectual perspective to divorce can help quiet the emotional turmoil for a time. One great way to do this is to write out your values and priorities. What is a must-have and where could you compromise? Knowing what your optimal outcome looks like helps guide a smoother process and can be grounding for the client. Our firm’s resource workbook, Our Family in Two Homes and for those with adult children, Our Family in a Few Homes, assists our clients greatly in this process.
  2. Consider Collaborative Divorce. This team-based approach is expansive and includes a mental health professional or divorce coach to guide the emotional aspects of the divorce process. Its aim is to avoid the stress and combative stance of the courtroom.
  3. Seek Support. Anyone facing a divorce would be wise to engage with a mental health professional before, during and after a divorce. This person provides an outlet for your emotional unrest and can help you cope through the various, personal emotional challenges you will face during and after your divorce. If you aren’t sure who to turn to, the Transitions Legal team can offer recommendations for mental health professionals that we trust.
  4. View Divorce as a Transition, Not a Failure. It’s in the name of our firm! We believe divorce is a transition between life stages, not good, not bad, and certainly not a failure. Not every marriage lasts forever. Once you embrace this notion, you can ease up on the blame – whether it’s directed at yourself or your spouse.